Memorial Service for Mary

Memorial Service

From a note written on the back of a Sears card carried in Mary’s purse:

People will forget what you said

People will forget what you did

But people will never forget how you made them feel

Maya Angelou

Welcome to this service of celebration and gratitude for the life of Mary Morel. I Carol Barwick, Chaplain of Rosedale Hospice where Mary completed her life. I am very proud to conduct a service honouring such a fine person as Mary.

Mary was happy when it snowed- she didn’t like the brown. Like the soft snowfall, Mary passed gently from this life April 18 at the age of 49 years.

WINTER COMES

always too soon,

before our hearts are ready

to let go.

Let us hold closely,

through the dark and cold,

the memory of summer,

and the promise.

Let the memory and the promise

shine within us.

Good-bye comes

always too soon,

before our hearts are ready

to let go.

Let us hold closely,

through the dark and cold,

the memory of her presence,

and the promise.

Let the memory

and the promise

shine within us

Amen

Each person here today had a unique and special relationship with Mary. We each come with individual grief and loss. We need, each of us, to prepare to return Mary to her maker in our own way. We need, each of us, to make sense of the meaning of Mary’s life and the completion of her life in death. Some will seek religious meaning, some will seek philosophical meaning and some will find comfort in the mystery of all of it. May I gently remind you that in the words of Israel Salanter Lipkin:

Spirituality is like a bird:

If you hold it too closely, it chokes,

And if you hold it too loosely, it escapes.

Announcements:

Cremation has occurred and Mary’s mortal remains will be entrusted into the loving care of her family for disposition at a later date.

Immediately following this service there will be a gathering in the reception room. Mary’s family warmly welcome you to join them and remind you Mary was never so happy as when she was in the company of family and friends. Her family hopes you will join them in sharing some refreshments and some memories.

Each person here today had a unique and special relationship with Mary. We each come with individual grief and loss. We need, each of us, to prepare to return Mary to her maker in our own way. We need, each of us, to make sense of the meaning of Mary’s life and the completion of her life in death. Some will seek religious meaning, some will seek philosophical meaning and some will find comfort in the mystery of all of it.

Whatever you come this afternoon seeking, may you find solace and peace.

I would like to share some words by St. John of the Cross, b. 1542,

And I saw the river

Over which every soul must pass

to reach the kingdom of heaven

and the name of that river was suffering -

and I saw the boat

which carries souls across the river

and the name of that boat was love.

Mary was a beautiful person who was full of life. She made every moment count and because of this Mary’s life touched everyone here today. She leaves this world and many of us a little better and a little more beautiful for having passed through

There is so much to be grateful for in Mary’s life.

Let us pray:

Heavenly Father, Source of Life;

This day in sacred gathering we remember a beloved wife, mother, sister, aunt, friend , and colleague who has passed the way of all the earth.

We give thanks, from the fullness of our hearts, for the life of Mary Morel.

We recall, with gratitude, the many ways Mary enriched the lives of her family and friends with her own unique form of love, companionship, creativity, humour, and compassion. We are grateful for all in Mary that was good and kind and caring

Let the meaning of Mary’s life live on in us.

May the light that Mary has given us shine on in our own lives and hearts and memories.

Help us to find the courage and the faith we need each day to carry on.

Open a way of hope before us.

Mend our hearts and teach us to be comforters of one another.

Amen

Some very ancient words to guide us as we remember Mary:

An adaptation from the Hebrew bible:

To Everything There Is A Season- Ecclesiasticus 3

A Time- to Everything There is a Season

A time to be born in the miracle of love

A time to die in quiet resignation and dignity

A time to plant seeds of caring friendships

A time to heal fragmented broken lives

A time to weep when fragile dreams are crushed

A time to laugh in the joy that all is not lost

A time to scatter the stones of the past in dust;

A time to gather them - to build in unselfish humility

A time to embrace those loved and those unloved

A time to be alone with our thoughts and our God

A time for silent meditation, preparing the way for courage in action;

A time to speak and live our words in truth

A time to hate with a passion the injustices done to other people;

A time to forgive, to forget, and to love even those who have hurt us most,

And today, a time to remember.

God hath made everything beautiful for its own time.

He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end.

So I concluded that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and enjoy themselves as long as they can and people should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of their labour, for these are gifts from God.

And I know that whatever God does is final. Nothing can be added to it or taken from it. Whatever exists today and whatever will exist in the future has already existed in the past. For God calls each event back in its turn.

Tributes

We thank God for the life of Mary Morel.

Mary was a country girl at heart:

Music: Angels among us by Alabama

Live A Life That Matters

Ready or not, some day it will all come to an end.

There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours or days.
All the things you collected, whether treasured or forgotten
will pass to someone else.

Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance.
It will not matter what you owned or what you were owed.
Your grudges, resentments, frustrations
and jealousies will finally disappear.
So too, your hopes, ambitions, plans and to-do lists will expire.
The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away.

It won't matter where you came from
or what side of the tracks you lived on at the end.
It won't matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant.
Even your gender and skin color will be irrelevant.

So what will matter?
How will the value of your days be measured?

What will matter is not what you bought
but what you built, not what you got but what you gave.

What will matter is not your success
but your significance.

What will matter is not what you learned
but what you taught.

What will matter is every act of integrity,
compassion, courage, or sacrifice
that enriched, empowered or encouraged others
to emulate your example.

What will matter is not your competence
but your character.

What will matter is not how many people you knew,
but how many will feel a lasting loss when your gone.

What will matter is not your memories
but the memories that live in those who loved you.

What will matter is how long you will be remembered,
by whom and for what.

Living a life that matters doesn't happen by accident.
It's not a matter of circumstance but of choice.

Choose to live a life that matters.

Mary completed her life with strength and dignity and courage. She lived a life that matters.

For all who loved Mary- keep her memory alive. Write down cherished family stories to be told and retold. This is your history. Speak to her often. Include her in your life. She’s not here in body but she is certainly here in spirit. Continue family traditions. You will never forget her. She is imprinted on your heart. Her blood flows through your veins.

The Jewish Talmud says, ”Over every blade of grass, bends an angel who whispers, “grow”.” We are those blades of grass. Both God and Mary wish this for us. They will watch over you and guide you if you let them. Make your life a tribute to Mary and God’s love for you.

Mary loved her life. She has now reached her divine potential.

Mary completed her life with grace and courage. She wanted her family and friends to continue on in their lives with her best wishes. Mary wanted her family to continue to uphold her value of family gatherings and familial closeness. She leaves you lovingly in each other’s care.

Scripture reminds us that those we love who die are not apart from us because they will always be a part of us. The legacy they leave is love and love lives on forever.

We can find this truth in 1 Corinthians 13 8-13

Love never ends.

But where there are prophecies, they will cease;

Where there are tongues, they will be stilled;

Where there are tongues, they will be stilled;

Where there is knowledge it will pass away.

For we know in part and we prophesy in part,

But when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child.

When I became an adult, I put childish ways behind me.

Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain; faith, hope and love.

But the greatest of these is love.

Music: Go Rest High on the Mountain by Vince Gill

Prayer

Let us pray:

God of all, we are grateful for the life of Mary Morel, who was so near and dear to us, and who has now been taken from us.

We seek blessing and comfort upon Mary’s loved ones; husband Daryl, sons Sane and Kris, sisters Barb and Nancy and their families, brothers Brian and Ian and their families, father jack and wife Lorna, father in law Ted, Daryl’s sister Brenda, many friends and family. She will be missed by the family dog Java. Joins her mother Joyce and mother in law Betty who pre-deceased her.

We pray that nothing good in Mary’s life will be lost, but will continue to be of benefit to the world; that all that was important to her will be respected by those who follow; and that everything in which she was great will continue to mean much to us now that she is dead.

We ask that Mary may go on living in her family and her friends; in their hearts and minds, in their courage and their consciences.

We pray for the spirit of our beloved Mary. Take her into your arms, dear Lord, and bring peace to her soul.

God of mercy, as we mourn the death of Mary and thank you for her life, we also remember times when it was hard for us to understand, to forgive, and to be forgiven.

Heal our memories of hurt and failure, and replace them with understanding, compassion and forgiveness.

As Mary has achieved her new life, may God grant us courage as we embark into new life without her presence. In the name of Jesus who invited us to pray the Lords Prayer together

Lord's Prayer

Our Father who art in heaven

Hallowed be thy name

Thy kingdom come

Thy will be done

On earth as it is in heaven

Give us this day, our daily bread

And forgive us our trespasses

As we forgive those who trespass against us

And lead us not into temptation

But deliver us from evil.

For Thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory

Forever and ever AMEN

*****

Mary came from love, she lived her life loving and being loved and now we return her to the love of her Creator.

It is from the earth that we come;

It is on the earth that we walk;

It is in the earth that we toil;

It is to the earth that we eventually must return.

Forasmuch as the spirit of Mary, dwells no more in this mortal form, we commit her body to the ground, earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

Mary, we commend you to God's eternal love. God bless you. Go in peace.

Music

Video Tribute: produced by nephew, Jesse Newman, a musical medley from different steps in Mary’s life

Life is?

Mother Theresa

Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.

Life is beauty, admire it.

Life is a dream, realize it.

Life is a challenge, meet it.

Life is a duty, complete it.

Life is a game, play it.

Life is a promise, fulfill it.

Life is sorrow, overcome it.

Life is a song, sing it.

Life is a struggle, accept it.

Life is a tragedy, confront it.

Life is an adventure, dare it.

Life is luck, make it.

Life is too precious, do not destroy it.

Life is life, fight for it.

Go from this place with the light of Mary’s love warm in your hearts and all the good of her example leading your lives.